Too Depressed or Not Depressed Enough

Hospice was scheduled to come the morning that Gpa died.  I called them to see if they wanted to come out anyway.

No, call 9-1-1, but if you need the bereavement services, be sure to call back.

I’m remembering that conversation now.  And wondering if I should call.

But I would have to find the number.  I don’t even remember which company I told the doctor.  I guess I can ask the doctor.

But I’m either too depressed or not depressed enough to bother.

I really think I’m fine.  I don’t feel a need to talk to a bunch of strangers about what I’m going through.  Especially as I have family and friends who have shared the last year with Gpa and I.

These are the people who I want to share what I remember with.   And I do.

We have been remembering all kinds of great things about Gpa.  And helping me figure out what I’m going to do next.  And in the mean time, I’m still working in the garden and helping harvest for the food pantry.  The first Tuesday in April, I started teaching juggling again.  And tomorrow will be the first Crime Watch meeting since I took a break.

I don’t think I’ll bother with finding the number.  But it was nice of them to offer.

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Comments

  • catterel  On April 24, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Grief isn’t a level plain, it has ups and downs and depths – and limbo. Go with it – God bless you.

    • nothousebound  On April 26, 2013 at 8:43 pm

      Yes, it amazes me how wide a range of emotions I will feel in a day. I started to tear up while getting my teeth cleaned the other day. It was strange to be sitting in the dentist chair feeling Gpa’s love. He’s never taken me though, I have taken him.

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