I’m Not The Only One

Thursday, I stopped at a craft store to purchase new brushes. I have an idea for a new series I want to create.

I hated that I didn’t have a coupon. I have a flip phone so the new way of having a coupon doesn’t work for me.

A clerk saw me right as I got in the line. She asked how I was. I told her I wished I had a coupon. She said to follow her, she would help me.

She went to an empty register and put on a pair of white gloves. Struggling to get the second one on, she shared that she wears the gloves so she doesn’t tear up her hands on the register.

That sounded odd to me. How rough is the register? I assumed that all the clerks at the store do this.

But this is not so. Her nerves cause her to pick at her nails. When she is stressed, she turns it upon herself. Down to the quick.

She shut the drawer before pulling out my change. We had to wait for a manager. So we chatted some more.

Her ex who is no longer here, would slap her hands when he caught her picking.

When she asked him what he was doing, for it hurt, he replied, “you aren’t picking at your hands anymore.”
I could tell she missed him. Even if he was an ex, the way she lit up told me more than the words ever would. Now that she had to deal with her nerves on her own, she understood the love in his solution.

We are soul sisters who have had a loss after a split. I wanted to encourage her. Tell her she had found a good solution for taking care of her self. Even if it seems odd to other people. Tell her I understood how much she loved and missed her ex. I know it’s hard to get up each day and move and breath and interact in a way that others expect you to. In a world where your loved one is not.

That there will be people who don’t understand what you are going through because the end of their life came after a fight that didn’t get resolved.

That on one hand I am so sorry that she is going through the same thing. It is crushing. On the other hand, I am so relieved that I am not alone. Shared sadness diminishes.

I hated that we were in a craft store and the time we had together was coming to an end. All I could do was look her full on in the eyes and love her as I said, “I’m sorry.”

I hope that she received all I wanted to convey with those two words. I hope her day was less lonely because we met. I know mine was.

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