A Promise Broken

I have never considered myself an abused woman. Though I will tell you my first husband was verbally abusive.

At first I was in love, he was a charmer.  I was taught to tell the truth but no one really talked about people who lie.

And for a period of time, I was afraid of him.

But that isn’t why I stayed.  I stayed because I had made a promise. A covenant.

I stayed until I worked out my fear of him.  I stayed until I was clear that when I left it would be for good.  No going back.  I had left and returned a couple of times before we had kids.

The main reason I was able to leave is we had gotten to a point where he acknowledged his promise didn’t mean anything to him. He was out to get all he could from all he could.

When there is a breach of contract, there is no contract.

He didn’t want a divorce, he didn’t want to be a husband either.

I had to be strong enough to make my stand and do so in a way that he didn’t retaliate.  We split in the early 90’s.  During this time, several men killed their leaving spouse or their children.

I had to navigate these treacherous waters carefully so my children could have the life I wanted us to have.

I prayed, a lot.  I would not leave my husband for another man.  I was either going to be in this relationship or not. And on thinks I could have insisted on, I let him have so he wouldn’t think I ‘owed’ him.

The rocky road didn’t end with the divorce papers being signed. He was sporadic on seeing the kids and paying support.  I never knew when he’d show or what mood.  I dealt with each incident when it came.

In the mean time I raised the kids.  Took them to school, checked report cards, taught them life skills and when chores were done on Saturdays we got in the car to do something fun.

The life I wanted.

 

Advertisements
Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: