Category Archives: Women

Our First On-line Fundraiser – for St. Baldrick’s cure for childhood cancers

Edye Melton has signed up to shave her head for St. Baldrick’s search for a cure for childhood cancers! She is a cancer survivor and knows what it’s like to be bald from treatment.  It’s hard fighting cancer as an adult, even more so for children.  Edye is doing something about it.  And would like you to help her.

She only needs $150 on the site to reach her goal.  Go here to make a direct contribution
Edye Melton wants to shave her head for St. Baldrick’s

And she has agreed to have a Pampered Chef fund raiser as well.  So if you’ve been wanting some Pampered Chef and haven’t made a purchase, you can go to this link and up to 30% of the sale will be donated to St. Baldrick’s Pampered Chef fundraiser!

Why am I doing this?  I miss my Gpa and I still have a lot of love to give.  I care about what you care about.  I found out about Edye’s event through her niece McKensi who had a regular pampered chef party.  That did nothing! So when McKensi posted about Edye and St. Baldrick.  I suggested we convert her party to  a fundraiser.  Especially since I’m doing a special through May 1st by giving my commission to the fundraiser on top of what Pampered Chef gives.  Pampered Chef gives up to 15% directly to the cause.  And I’m going to give another 15%.  That’s 30% of sales to see Edye shave her head! Plus there’s bonus money for parties booked.

Give me a shout out to let me know if you want to have a party and keep the giving going. You can book a regular party, a fundraiser or even a wedding shower party!

And every time you use your pampered chef products, remember that you did something for the cure for childhood cancer and helped Edye shave her head!

McKensi is so awesome! Thank you McKensi!

Edye is so awesome!  Thank you Edye!

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Boulders in Life

When Gpa was first diagnosed with dementia, a co-worker told me about a pastoral counselor that was helping her family.  I went and she was great.

After sharing my experience and frustration, the counselor observed that it was like I was told to push against a large rock and I thought it meant to move the rock.  But this rock was so large it would be impossible to move.

This insight helped me tremendously then and even now.  When I get frustrated with the way life is going, I stop and ask myself if I am trying to move a rock that won’t.

This weekend I went on a women’s retreat and had a chance to walk a labyrinth. The path weaves back and forth making a circle, doubling back several times, making a lovely Celtic pattern.  Though in life it isn’t as much fun doubling back time and again.

However, later, I had a thought about that rock. The one I tried to move by pushing.  The thought is this, maybe I am just supposed to stand next to the rock.

Just stand next to the rock.

Just stand.

A Message from Esther’s Handmaid

To All who will listen,

I remember when she first came to the palace.  Even then, before the purification, there was something that set her apart from the others.

Many of us were there because our peoples had been conquered. We did what we had to survive. Danger was everywhere even in the midst of all the opulence and splendor.

It was a great honor and responsibility to be chosen to serve her. She was humble and didn’t hit or throw tantrums.  I grew to love her and would do anything for her, even if I had not been her handmaid.

And then she became the favorite.  I kept watch to protect her from the jealousy of others.  I did not know the danger would come from jealousy of her kinsman.

I knew something was wrong but she did not confide in me. I had to wait.  And then she stopped eating.  Alarmed I knew I had to do something.  If something happened to her, I would pay with my life.

I discovered a new law had been written, one that allowed a certain people to be slaughtered on a certain day.  And to inspire compliance, the property of these certain people would pass to those who destroyed them.

I do not understand why anyone would want to kill their neighbor for their possessions but I do know that is the way of man. I had seen to much of death and destruction in my home country. What can one do against such power?

And then I saw a miracle unfold before my eyes.  I did not know that is what it was at the time.  I was frantic that my lady refuses to eat for days.  And then she announces she will go before the king.

No amount of cajoling will dissuade her from her decision.

She has not been summoned and will surely be killed as she approaches.  The only thing that will save her is the king raising his hand.

And he does!

She is that favored. She can be so bold.

He is curious why this lady comes to him and he grants her what ever she will ask.

What does she ask for but to invite him and the most wicked man in the kingdom for dinner.  Now I know she has gone mad. Delirious from hunger, something, for no good thing can happen from these events.

But it does. The king is charmed and offers his lady anything her heart desires.

Another dinner.

Oh, when will this madness stop!? The risks she is taking to have both the king and the most wicked man in her chambers.

I try to warn her. But she reminds me she is the master and I am to do her bidding. With great reluctance  I do as I am told.  Knowing that disaster will strike and we are all doomed.

After what seems like a lovely meal, and the king full of food and admiration, she reveals it is her people that the law was created to destroy.  The wicked man is the one who has created the law. And what is the king going to do about it?

Oh, the chaos that ensues! In those few words, the evening when from an idyllic picture to a life and death situation.  And my lady is the one who brought it about. My heart was in my throat. I could do nothing but watch to see what would happen next.

The king knows he cannot remove a law once it is written.  You would think he would be more careful about what laws he passes. He did alter it and my lady’s people were able to defend themselves.

I had hoped that people would abandon the idea of killing their neighbor for their property when it would not a slaughter but a war.  My hopes were not fulfilled for such is the nature of man.  But many of my lady and her people defeated their foes and kept their lives and their property.

I asked her how she could be so brave and do what is right, even if against the law.  And she told me about her God who is love and is most powerful of all. She told me this God loves even one such as I.

I learned to love God as well.

 

A Message from Eve

Dear,

I am glad you remember me. You remember me often.  Many people are worried that when they are gone, they will be forgotten.  I have no chance of that.

I’m the one you point to and say, ‘it’s her fault’.  All because of this one thing I did that one time.

The only difference between me and you is that I did it first.

As long as you spend your time looking at what I did and judging it, you will be stuck and unable to heal the rifts in your relationships.

I want to tell you that I am so much more than that one incident. I am as multi-faceted as a diamond.

I am loved and I loved well.  I raised three beautiful boys.  They were my pride and joy.

Cain was strong and provided for us. I always felt safe from the dangers of the world when he was around.

He even had a strong sense of responsibility when he was little.  Taking my hand and leading the way.

His brother Abel had a strong connection with God.  I thought when we left the garden, we would never see God again.  Abel was forever pointing out where God is.  I never knew what he would say and I smile remembering the laughter he brought into our lives.

It was devastating when we learned of what Cain had done when he let his jealousy rage.

We lost two sons that day.

How could this of happened? What could we have done different? But the questions remained unanswered and the deed had been done.

It takes everything you have each time you have to start over. We lost everything when we left the garden, started anew. Then lost everything when Abel died and Cain ran from what he had done. Adam and I were faced with letting this destroy us or pick up the pieces and start anew again.

And through it all, God was there.  He did not keep Himself from us. He taught us that love covers even the choices that turn life upside down. We got up each day, did what needed to be done and sought ways to make life better.

We didn’t expect to have Seth.  What a surprise! And he was so very different from his brothers.  It amazes me that the boys were so very different and yet I loved each of them for who they were and are.

And all you want to do is point to that thing I did that changed everything and say it’s all my fault you are in this mess.  Won’t you please forgive me and get on with your life?

May God bless you and keep you,

Eve

 

 

Words of Encouragement

A friend I haven’t seen in years called the other day.  I hadn’t replied to her good wishes on the 4th.  I meant to. But I didn’t know what to say.  I don’t like where I am right now.

I am trying to process that God has me in a job that won’t pay all the bills, the death of some very loved ones, and the feeling that the world is tearing itself apart so why bother.

Oh how we both needed the call.  We gave each other words of encouragement.  She happily shared her husband started a new job.  A dream job.  One they had been praying for him to get for years.

I know, I’ve been praying along with them. I got to rejoice in the news.

She has some detractors in her husbands family.  I reminded her that both she and her husband had met at a very dark time for both of them.  God knew there were two candles in danger of going out and He had them meet.

We also talked about the time I helped her get her stuff from her ex-husband.  She was so afraid of him, she didn’t want to go into the house.  Until we prayed.  She’s still struggling with her feelings about all the things he did.

I told her to tell God that she is willing to forgive but she doesn’t feel it right now.  That is all He requires, acknowledge where you are and where you’d like to be.

Feelings are feelings, they are not good nor are they bad.  They just are. Feel them, let them flow.  Forgiveness is a choice.  It is a process of letting go.  And you may have to do it many times. And that is OK.

And her words of encouragement were just what my heart and myself needed to hear.  I am where God wants me.  (I don’t have to fully understand why to be OK with where I am) And God is happy with me.

God is happy with me.

That is good to know.  I can take that thought with me each day as I go into the world and be who and where I am.

Sandwich Generation

One of my new co-workers said she is of the sandwich generation.

I am a member of the sandwich generation.  This is where a person takes care of the generation before them and after them. It is usual that a person take care of the new generation.  And in some cultures, it is usual to take care of the older generation.  The new thing is the definition.

I can say I am member of the sandwich generation.  Or can I?

Those older than myself, in my direct line are all gone.

Not here.  My duties as a care giver are complete.

My children are in their 20’s.  My duties here as a care giver are also complete.

What does that make me?  An open faced sandwich?

No, wait, that still has a slice of bread.

Bologna?

 

 

 

 

Dead People You Can Talk About

We had a rocky Easter.  Lillie hasn’t been processing Gpa’s death and it came to a head on Sunday.

We had a bit of a blow up before Church and she came later.  Then we worked it out on the way to some friend’s house where we had been invited for lunch.

We had a lovely visit.  We talked about Gpa and a few others who are n0 longer with us.  We talked about plans for the year.  But the calm didn’t last long once we got back into the car.

I mentioned a friend of her’s that died when they were in the 6th grade.  We were driving the same way we did the day we went to the friends service.

A few moments later, Lillie says, “I think it’s rude that you talked about my dead friend.”

The conversation escalated quickly.  I had not meant to offend.  We had talked about other dead people and I didn’t say anything bad about her friend.  She couldn’t hear that and all had a turn at yelling.

She got to the point of telling me that I’m the parent and I should parent.  UM, the girls are 25 and 27.  But I heard what she said and I got control of my yelling and told her to stop.

Then I said, “there will be no more negative talk from now until we get home.”

Whew, it is not good when you don’t process your grief.

We all hugged and remembered that we love each other and are doing better now.  Sometimes it takes longer than a year.

I would have to say that we lived the reason for Easter and found a way to extend grace to each other.

 

 

You Need a Man

I made  the mistake of telling our organist that I was picking up my daughter from the bus stop downtown at midnight on Monday.

She said, “You need a Man.”

I almost asked her where I would get one.  haha.  UM but she has a divorced son.  I figured I was entering tricky waters.

I just smiled and said I’d be OK, I’ve picked up Gena from the bus stop downtown at midnight before.

If not having a man stopped me from doing things, I wouldn’t do anything!

I have told my children  that we are responsible for making where we are safer.  Be aware of the area, stay in well lighted areas, keep your keys in your hand, etc.

I do realize that there are people intent on doing evil.  And they will.  But people are assaulted in broad daylight just as much as in the middle of the night.

A man in my life would be nice but Gpa has set a very high standard.  I’ve experienced his loving gaze he had for Gma.  I am happy to wait for a man who will cherish me and look at me like Gpa looked at Gma.  And if he goes downtown with me to pick up the kiddo, that will be a bonus for sure.

Two Weeks Notice

A couple of weeks ago, a friend from the garden found out she had cancer.  She decided that it was terminal when she found out it is rare and spreads fast.  She planned on being dead in a couple of weeks.  by yesterday.

Well, most of the ladies at the garden as well as the church, pray.  I told my friend that I hoped she wasn’t too disappointed if she wasn’t dead when she predicted.  Too many people were praying for healing and otherwise better news than she was expecting.

Last Wednesday she had a CT scan to determine how far the cancer had spread.

Yesterday she came to the garden and gave away a number of items that was near and dear to her heart, that she wanted us to have.  The most important was an angel birdbath that her son who lives in Florida gave her.

She had her other son bring it.  I told her that he wasn’t going to be too happy when he had to lug it back to her house.  She whispered, “then I’ll have someone else do it.”

I understood her looking forward to heaven, I puzzled over her giddiness.  Then I remember a bad job I had when the kids were little.  My husband agreed that I should quit, even without another job lined up as it was too much stress.  The last two weeks I was practically giddy knowing I only had a few more days to deal with the stress.

Today she learned the results.

Good Good news.  She left a message on my phone, so I need to call back and get the details, but the cancer hasn’t spread and the lymph nodes look good.

Be careful of giving a bunch of praying ladies your  two weeks notice, your plans may change,

Letter to my Senator

On Monday, a special session will be held in the state of Texas.  The governor thinks a couple of issues are too important to let go.  Even though one of them had the building overflowing with people who did not support the abortion bill.

I guess he thinks we are not adult enough to know what we want.  So I have written the following to my senator, to let him know where I stand.  Funny thing, I can’t find the bill and the details on what exactly is being voted on.  Hmm.

What I want is the ability to make a choice.

Senator Deuell,

I moved to your district last year. I moved into a home and brought my grandfather out of a nursing home. He had been diagnosed with dementia and I wanted to spend more time with him.

I cannot find information on the bill and what specifically what is being voted on. If it is taking away the choice for women, then I would ask you to vote against the bill. If it is to make this choice safer, then I would say vote for it.

I am disappointed in Governor Perry and his decision to call a special session. It appears to me that he is not representing what the people want.

What plans does the governor have for the lives of the unwanted babies that result in a ban on abortion? These children will be more likely to be abused or killed later.

There is over 9 billion dollars owed in back child support in Texas. What is being done for these children?

If you could legislate morality, the prisons would be empty, no one would commit murder. But we both know that prisons are full of murderers.

The best thing about this country is the ability to choose. Not all situations are the same. And for this reason, law makers/keepers need to continue to be on guard to keep choices and life situations that may be different an option.

In my case, I was not able to use the FMLA for it does not allow a grandchild to care for a grandparent. However, both my parents pre-deceased my grandfather. My mother was an only child and I being the next of kin, cared for him.

Thank you for your time and attention on this matter.

Laura